Life In Abundance

Prayers for New Life vs Dying

2010-08-28T22:47:00.003+08:00

I thank God for giving me the blessings to welcome new life into the world as well as to accompany the dying in their final journeys back home.

It is undeniably a joy to hold a newborn baby. On the other hand, I find that there is also a hidden joy in serving the dying and making them comfortable.

Prayers for the newborn baby
I'll keep you warm all times so that cold will not torture your little body. I celebrate with you for your coming and thank God for blessing you with life

Prayers for the dying
I'll comfort and support you in your final journey back home. Though I can't share with you the sufferings, I can try my best to reduce your pain to the minimum. I pray that you will have the peace to go on till you reach Heaven.

Lord. I offer up the new life as well as the dying patients into Your Hands. By serving them, I offer my prayers for them. Amen.

A New Dawn

2009-10-26T16:10:00.007+08:00

Rainy night is always followed by a foggy morning...
Sleeping with my tears yesterday, I could see the mist of my soul today...

Yet, as the sun shines, the mist will soon disappear...
When I welcome the light of God into my heart, my mist, too will disappear.

Praise the Lord for this wonderful new dawn that He has given me...

A Meomory Of My Family Doctor

2009-10-22T21:52:00.002+08:00

After fighting with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia for the past three years, my dearest family doctor has finally departed at the age of 53 years old... He left me silently amidst my busyness...

Getting the news about his death, I only realised that time has been fading so fast... I knew him at the age of six when I was his patient and now, he left me when I myself have become a doctor, doing the same as what he used to do. I am blessed to know this very doctor in my life. He was really a special person that God has sent to guide me journeying towards the path of medical career.

I still remember vividly how we first met in the clinic when I was a child. Perhaps, I was lucky enough on that day that he got free time to build rapport with me. He offered me candies and spent time talking to me while I was still waiting outside the consultation room without knowing him as my new family doctor. I was quite anxious to see a doctor then but his company soothed my anxiety. The kindness that revealed from his smile gave me a sense of secure. I only learnt that he was my family doctor when I was called to the consultation room. Because of the good impression, I did not have fear to visit a doctor since then. Even as a little patient, I would completely trust that doctor is doing good to the patients. I always experienced a sense of comfort and security after visiting him when I was sick. He had indeed played an important role during my childhood.

In the first and second year of my medical training, I always spent time learning in his clinic during my semester break. It was then I realised that he was really a good example for me to learn from in this career. My first lesson with him was about medical ethics. He explained to me, words by words, the content of ‘Hypocratic Oath’ and told me that it had been the very principle that he followed throughout his career. His emphasis was on teaching me how to become a caring and safe doctor. Besides that, he was very keen to share his knowledge. I remembered him sacrificing his lunch and spending time amidst his busyness just to teach me alone when I needed some guidance urgently before returning to my campus. I felt quite touched by his sacrifice.

As a doctor, he had been very thorough in coming to a diagnosis and management, as such, always taking his time to see patients, educate them and treat them as a whole. He had been very patient and dedicated. Above all, he enjoyed his work as a doctor without concerning too much on how much he earned. I learnt that he had treated some patients free of charge. Coming from a poor family himself, he knew how poverty was like, thus he had empathy on poor patients. He told me that becoming a doctor had been his ambition since nine years old and to give up completely his career because of his illness was a great loss for him. In fact, he resumed his work for two years after gaining remission from the first fight with leukaemia and to give up only when he was attacked with recurrent leukaemia cum lymphoma.

Before he suffered from leukaemia, we used to share many good times together. He would share with me some good books, meaningful articles and movies while I shared with him music. We always spent time discussing about the inspiration that we gained from life and he would always want to hear my opinions after I had read a meaningful article or watched an inspirational movie. When my semester break came to an end, he would always give me some useful stationery as souvenir to cheer me up. He had been so meticulous.

After suffering from leukaemia, he shared with me his struggles in fighting with the disease, how the disease impacted on his whole family and how this changed his outlook on life. I am grateful that he really treasured me as a special person with whom he could share his struggles apart from his family. At least, I was still allowed to visit him when he strictly refused any other visitors. The last two visits that I paid him really meant a lot to me. I have got a few chances to talk to patients suffering from terminal illness. My dearest family doctor was among all, the most optimistic patient. I really learnt from his sharing. He did not forget to remind me to be a dedicated doctor each time when we met or in each conversation over the phone. I had never hear from him anymore since the last phone call prior to his admission for bone marrow transplant, but his advice is with me now and it will be throughout my life.

He has really left me this time... and we will no longer meet, forever and ever. Left with me now are the inspirational text messages in my phone that he sent me in the past, some souvenirs that he had given me before and a meaningful article that he had written... The most important of all, he had left with me a very good example to follow.

My dearest family doctor, I thank you so much for everything that you have done for me. I learnt from you that a small and simple act of kindness sown with a sincere heart may have brought inspiration to someone without realisation. Your dedication has inspired me to do the same to my patients. I will remember your advice forever. May your soul rest in peace. Till then, we meet again in Heaven.

P/s: He was the oldest candidate for bone marrow transplant in Malaysia. The marrow transplant had been successful. Unfortunately, he died of interstitial pneumonia. He had fought with leukaemia till the end of life, spending up almost all his savings, selling cars and house. He left his wife with four children. The eldest son is currently a second year medical student. Two daughters, one is going to take up pharmacy, another to take up nutrition while the youngest son has just started secondary school. Pray for them for the strength and courage to cope with future challenges in life.

A Doctor's Love

2009-07-23T09:05:00.009+08:00

God send different people into our life... Some to love us, some to help us, some to test us...

In my ordinary life, He has given me a big surprise by sending me a compassionate family doctor who loves me, who has inspired me and has been guiding me.

My first visit to his clinic as a child has been a beautiful memory... Whenever I reflect on these scenes, I always feel very touched. Being a compassionate doctor, he has abundant love for his patients. In my first visit, he even took his time to talk to me. His kindness has given my little heart an assurance that a doctor is not to do harm on his patients. Because of his love, I was not afraid to see him whenever I was sick.

Without my realisation, God has kindled in me an inspiration through all these good experiences. After joining medical course, I decided to learn from him. I would go to his clinic for my learning whenever there was a semester break.

I would never forget the first lesson that I had in his clinic. Instead of teaching the high five medical knowledge, he emphasized on how to be a good and compassionate doctor who practice based on Hippocratic Oath and medical ethics. He is such a generous doctor who is always willing to share his knowledge and experiences, always spending his time to educate patients. I feel priviledged that I could learn from his precious experiences which could not be found from books!

Apart from teaching medical stuffs, he also instilled in me some good values by recommending me some articles and movies. I remember I had to give him opinions after reading or watching the recommended articles or movies. My learning in his clinic had been an enjoyable one. Always, on the last day of my learning in his clinic, he would present me some useful stationeries as souvenirs. This always gave me consolation amidst my blue feelings for new semester. He has been so meticulous and understanding as a person.

I still remember a touching incidence that happened when I was in first year of medicine. I had difficulty to understand about the principle of electrocardiogram (ECG) though having attended a lecture about ECG. Feeling worried, I visited my family doctor to seek for helps during the weekends. It was one day prior to chinese new year eve. There were many patients queuing up to see him. Despite all busyness, he still spent time teaching me. He sacrificed his free time and even his lunch just to teach me! I felt quite guilty for that but his kindness really touched me.

I thank God for sending such a big angel into my life. I would always look forward to for the learning sessions during my semester break. Each time before I went to his clinic for learning, I would send a request and every time my request was happily fulfilled until I was in second year of medicine.

As usual, I sent a request to him during a semester break in second year. This time, however, I was told that he was on a long holiday. In his reply, he appreciated my burning request for learning and even advised me to be a compassionate and caring doctor in future. It was a surprise to have read all these words. I only learnt that he was diagnosed of acute lymphoblastic leukaemia after some time...

It was a big shock for me as I knew that he was diagnosed of leukaemia... It was incredible that a healthy man would be diagnosed of leukaemia out of blue! How can God make such a joke!... I knew that as a normal response, my family doctor would have also gone through all these stages of grief. However, different from many a cancer patient, he has never let his grief forever govern his life and never surrender to cancer. Instead, he remains to be optimistic and learns a positive way to fight with leukaemia.

He has suffered different kinds of pain all these years in fighting against leukaemia and still, he did not give up when he was diagnosed of relapse of leukaemia cum lymphoma in which the prognosis was not so good. Because of his optimism and strong determination, he managed to survive twice from his illness. From his face, I could not find any sorrowful expression. Despite being sick, his tone of voice has still been energetic. On him, I saw hope and I saw life. His determination has taught me not to give in to challenges in life.

Being a cancer survivor, he becomes more understanding. He learns that every living day is precious and health is the greatest blessing in life. He treasures all his friendships and the love and supports from all his family members. His experiences has taught me a good lesson in life.

As I become a doctor soon, I'll always keep in mind all his advices, especially how to become a good doctor, that is, apart from having a competent IQ and EQ, being professional and ethical and coming to the right diagnosis and appropriate treatment; compassion, down to earth, tender loving care, human touch and good communication skills are all the qualities that should not be neglected. Yes, doctor! I will keep in mind all these and practice it in my medical career.

As I am about to start my career as a doctor, my family doctor will take the risk again in fighting cancer. He is going to have a bone marrow transplant soon. I pray that there will be a miracle for him again. All the best to you, doctor and thank you for being such a special person in my life.

Labour

2009-07-14T10:38:00.003+08:00

One of the postings that many medical students would look forward to is obstetric and gynaecology posting. It is because in that posting, we have the chance to welcome new life into the world.

I first witnessed labour when I was a forth year medical student. Seeing every mother had to endure such a great pain yet never lost her courage in the labour, I had to pay my highest respect to every mother in the world.

In a labour, the pain that they have to endure is hours and it is getting more and more intense. Labour is not a process that without risk. Some mothers may have to endure more pains in the labour. Some even experience life-threatening condition.

Knowing that it is a painful and risky process, a mother still takes the risk to give birth. What has motivated them? I only began to understand when I witnessed labour for the first time in my life. It is an unconditional love that motivates every mother to take the risk.

At the end of the labour, a mother would be exhausted but she would experience joy and forget about the sufferings that she has endured. I saw some mothers even shed the tears of joy when she first saw the fruit of her womb. I still feel touched to see one of these scenes.

Seeing labour has helped me to realise that a mother's love is unconditional and that every life is precious. I remembered telling my mom that she is a great mother after I had seen labour for the first time.

God Has His Time

2009-07-10T09:09:00.006+08:00

In everything that we pray for, God has His time to answer it. I did not know this until I myself experienced a few incidences.

I did quite lousy in my studies when I was a third year medical student. I simply did not know how to learn efficiently. The worst thing that I faced was I did not know what I knew and what I did not know.

Diseases on cardiovascular system was one of the system that I did not understand properly. My daily learning in the ward only told me that diseases on cardiovascular system were about chest pain, heart failure and heart murmur. I always had the sense that I had so much I did not know regarding this subject but I just could not tell exactly what else I needed to know.

One week prior to Professional Exam II, I had a mock exam. I was asked to examine a patient with heart murmur. With me was the consultant cardiologist. I was fooling myself in front of him. Because I did not understand properly about the diesease, I gave him stupid answers to all his questions. As a result, I was failed.

The failure made me feel so bad about myself, but it enkindled a strong will in me. I told myself that I would not allow myself to be so blur again when I went to final year.

Knowing that I was so weak in cardiovascular system, I decided to do my elective posting in cardiology department. There was a six weeks elective posting at the end of forth year and we were allowed to choose our interested posting and ideal hospital. I decided to do cardiology, neurology and radiology posting each for two weeks in Singapore.

I applied for all the postings one year earlier and throughout my forth year studies, I had been praying hard everyday for the oppoturnity to learn in Singapore. In order to go for the elective posting, I had to pass in all four postings during my forth year which include obstetric & gynaecology, paediatrics, psychiatry and family medicine & community health.

I prayed every now and then for my intention, reciting Rosary and joining Divine Mercy prayer meeting. I am grateful that God answered my prayers eventually. My applications to all these three departments were successful and I managed to pass all my postings in my forth year studies.

I did not know God's grace can be so sweet until I went to Singapore for my postings. I was very anxious one day before my posting in cardiology because I had so many things that I did not understand and I expected to be scolded throughout my learning.

However, what I experienced was totally the opposite of what I expected. I was well treated throughout my learning in all three postings! The registra in cardiology did not look down on me for my poor knowledge, instead, he spent his precious time in teaching me. Under his guidance, I began to understand things clearly. I spent two weeks in cardiology joining different clinics and observing different procedures. I found that I learnt many times more within the two weeks there compared to the past two years! At the end of the second week, I was no longer afraid of seeing a patient with heart problem and reading his ECG. The learning in cardiology department had increased my confidence in studies. I felt very touched by God's grace for me.

When I went to final year, my first posting was internal medicine. I found that one of my group's lecturers was the consultant cardiologist who failed me previously. On the first day of our posting, he expected us to clerk all the patients in the cardiology ward and presented to him during his ward round on the following day. Many of my group members felt very stressed with this assignment but I did not feel the same because the two weeks cardiology posting had given me confidence.

Throughout my learning in medicine, I had never been praised, but, I had my first experience during the cardiology ward round that day. The consultant cardiologist who failed me previously was impressed by my presentation.

I thanked God for all the wonders that He has done for me. He is a good God who knows our needs. From the experience in learning cardiovascular diseases, I learnt that God has His time for everything. It is very fast for Him to turn a poor into rich.

Coincidence?

2009-07-09T08:45:00.003+08:00

Have you ever experienced a few coincidence in one occasion? If you have, I would tell you that this is God at work in your life.

One Sunday when I was still a forth year medical student, I met one couple who encouraged me to go for a inner healing retreat when I was just about to leave the church. In my curiosity, I had a look at the form and found that it was held in Genting in the following week which would involve Thursday to Sunday.

I was eager to join the retreat but if I did, I would have to skip my class on Friday. I felt quite anxious to tell my parents that I had to sacrifice my lectures in order to join the retreat. I was in a dilemma in making decision. So, I prayed hard for discernment if this was His plan for me to join the retreat.

God knew my needs to be healed. After praying for two days, I boldly told my parents about my need to go for the retreat. Surprisingly, they encouraged me instead of questioning about my decision.

With a joyful heart, I then went for the four-day retreat and I lifted up my studies onto God's hands.

Thank God, attending that retreat was a gain for me rather than a loss. There, I learnt more about inner healing and some of my hurts were healed after prayers. I felt refreshed after attending the retreat.

When I was about to go back for my new challenging week, I received a message from my group leader that I needed to complete my Powerpoint slide for presentation by the coming Friday. Besides that, I had to submit my case report by Friday and that week would be my turn for case presentation in the ward.

Knowing that the works accumulated in front of me was hectic, I prayed hard to God when I got back to my place.

The next morning before I started my work, I prayed to God, seeking for His grace again. That Monday was the first day that I was posted to paediatric surgical ward. My task for that day was to find a case which was good for discussion.

As I walked around the ward, I prayed in my heart asking God to bring me to the suitable patient for clerking. Without going through all the case notes, I came to a 10 year-old boy who complaint of a rapid growing mass in his abdomen. I then started to clerk his father regarding the boy's health condition and I managed to examine that little boy. He had got a big mass in the abdomen by the time when he was referred to this hospital and he was just admitted to the ward when I approached him.

After finishing my clerking, the consultant came for ward round. He told us that he wanted this case to be presented in his teaching in that evening. Oh, thank God for choosing the exact case for me to clerk. If I approached other patient earlier, I would have to clerk that particular patient again.

The diagnosis for the that little boy was 'Wilms tumour', which is a rare disease. It was exactly the same topic that I was preparing for my Powerpoint slide presentation! I had done some reading about this disease the night before, so, I was not too stressed when I had to present that case in that evening. Again, thank God for reducing my burdens. 'Wilms tumour' was a difficult topic for me. However, through seeing the real patient, I seemed to understand it better and I knew that the discussion with consultant in that evening would give me more useful input for my Powerpoint presentation later.

Praise the Lord, I had a fruitful learning that day. With a better understanding about the disease, I managed to complete my presentation slides that night.

Then, I focused on writing my case report. Amazingly, I was told that it was a must that we handed in a surgical case report that week! Thank God again, on my hand was a good surgical case which I had presented to the consultant! Without spending extra effort, I had found suitable case to write my case report. The time saved during that week enabled me to revise on other topics.

I thank God for that beautiful week which was full of His amazing grace. It seemed that many coincidences had happened in that experience, but I knew that it was God at work. He is a God of wonder who is ready to help us whenever we turn to Him.

He Cares for Me Even in Small Matter

2009-07-08T10:23:00.006+08:00

Every night before I sleep, I would reflect on God's love for me, thanking Him for His care in my daily life. It is in this way that I can maintain my peace and joy amidst troubles in life.

God's grace is always beyond my understanding. At times, it's not difficult to recognise His grace immediately but at other times, His grace can only be seen retrospectively. From the graces and blessings I received from our Heavenly Father, I learnt that He is a God who cares for us in big and small matters in life.

One morning as I was still a third year medical student, I woke up late and in order not to miss my lectures and learning in hospital, I decided to skip my breakfast. I was suffering from depression in those moments of life and oversleep was one of the problems I faced every morning. As a result, I often skipped my breakfast and it resulted in gastritis.

On that special morning as I decided to skip my breakfast again, my Heavenly Father blessed me with a hearty breakfast!

As I was on my way walking towards the surgical ward, a patient came to me and asked for the direction to pharmacy. I did not bother to spend my time bringing the patient to the pharmacy, thus, I just pointed to her the direction which was in the opposite direction from the surgical ward.

After I left her, I was thinking to myself: "Why she would ask me for direction instead of asking my colleagues who were walking with me?" Then, I started to feel that it was a sign for me that I should move towards surgical clinic rather than to the ward for my learning in that morning. The surgical clinic was at the direction which I had shown to the patient. In fact, that morning, I was asking God to lead me to the place I should go for my learning.

I left my friends and went to join the surgical clinic alone. When I reached there, I saw two ladies from a pharmaceutal company distributing bags to medical staffs at the entrance of the clinic. As I was making my way to the clinic, I was given a bag, too. I then found that the bags were only reserved to doctors, so, I decided to return it. However, I was told that I could have it.

When I went to the rest room, I found a hearty breakfast in the bag together with some useful stationeries and information sheets regarding a drug. Praise the Lord, He knew that I had not taken my breakfast, so, He blessed me with a hearty breakfast free of charge.

Though that was a small incidence, I could see God's love for me...

Hospital Rumour

2009-07-07T10:04:00.005+08:00

I recalled a story that happened in my learning hospital...

It happened one year ago... One day, my colleagues and I were doing our ward works in a medical ward. It was near lunch time and everyone was about to leave the ward when suddenly a friend of mine got a call from someone. He looked astonished as he answered the phone, then, with a anxious tone, he told us the news that he got - the 'Monorail' at Chow Kit Road went out from its rail and fell onto the ground, crushing into cars and causing deaths and injuries.

On hearing this, we were all in a shock. It was unbelievable. I could not believe that this had happened... and how I wished that it was not real. However, as I walked out from the ward, I heard a staff nurse telling a medical assistant exactly what I had just heard.

As my colleagues and I walked along the corridor in the hospital, I observed many anxious looks on medical staffs and I kept on hearing nurses discussing that incidence. Looking out from the windows, I saw many cars and ambulances parking in front of the emergency department. It was an unusual scene. Deep in my heart, I knew that it might be real.

As we walked out from hospital, we were surprised to see the 'Monorail' functioning as usual, as if no accident had happened before. We thought that everything had settled down already after the accident.

Some curious guys decided to have a look on the accident spot, but they saw no sign of accident and the staffs working at the station said that nothing had happended to the 'Monorail' and it had been functioning normally. We had a sense of being fooled.

In that evening, the truth was revealed. We learnt that that incidence was just a rumour. The truth was that the emergency department was helding a emergency rehearsal in that morning. A staff had created the story and spred the news around in the emergency department. The medical staffs and medical students posted in the department did not know that it was just a drill initially. They only learnt the truth after the drill finished.

However, the rumour had spread throughout the whole hospital! Because many were discussing about it, the panicky atmosphere in the hospital made people believe that the rumour was a truth!

From this incidence, I learnt a good lesson - do not simply believe what we heard as many a time, the news that has been spread around is just a rumour and we will be fooled by it if we simply believe it without seeking for the truth.

God is My Salvation

2009-06-21T09:50:00.004+08:00

The Lord is my salvation.

His light is upon me days and nights.

In my helplessness, He is there to guide.

His light has brought me hope in darkness.

In Him, I have found shelter -

A shelter that protects me from cold.

The Lord has never abandoned me.

I will follow His light to the end of life.

Barking Cough

2009-06-16T09:22:00.002+08:00

When I was in my forth year of learning in medicine, I got a ten weeks learning in paediatric posting. That was my first time in life to learn about the diseases of children and to approach sick children.

As we read about pertussis, we learnt that patients who present with pertussis has a characteristic barking cough. Not hearing one ourselves, we were yet having so much enthusiasm in trying to elicit this characteristic symptom each time when we interviewed mothers with her child suffering from respiratory infection.

We were not sure how barking cough was like. Based on the word 'barking', we thought that it must have sounded like a dog barking. As a result of this wrong interpretation, we came out with funny questions in history taking like "Do your child cough like a dog barking?" or in malay version "Adakah anak anda batuk macam anjing?"

After some times, our lecturers noticed that we had been asking all these funny questions, so they corrected us. It is only then we learnt that barking cough sounds like the sound produced by sea seal.

With better understanding, we no longer struggle with the awkward questions like asking mothers if her child cough like a dog barking. The question sounds quite rude anyway. Luckily, the mothers were not offended.

The learning process can be funny sometimes. I will especially never forget this funny experience in my paediatric posting

How To Deal With Failures?

2009-06-16T09:09:00.004+08:00

Life is not a bed of roses

So often we talk about how to succeed but seldom do we discuss on how to cope with failures. As a result, many of us are kind of helpless when dealing with our own failures.

In the past, I was quite helpless also when dealing with my own failures. Failures made me feel that I was so lousy and how others looked at me had made me even more depressed. However, through prayers, God has slowly given me the wisdom to deal with failures. By now, I am more at peace with failures and am no longer affected so badly by failures.

I learnt the proper way to deal with failures through books. One of the useful references is a book written by Dr. Sam Sivarajah, titled ‘Failure is Not Final’. I shall share with you here, some of the useful materials that I have come across.

THE MEANING OF FAILURE

What it Means

Failure means you are human. You are not God.
Failure means you just discovered what does not work.
Failure means you are now aware that there are other ways to achieve your goal.
Failure means you are going to keep trying again.
Failure means you have just learned something new.
Failure means you just made a mistake that can be corrected.
Failure means you could have been misled or misguided.
Failure means you have not given your best shot yet.
Failure means there is room for challenges.
Failure means the best is yet to come.
Failure means the battle for success is not over yet.
Failure means you did not get all the right information or help.

What it Doesn’t Mean

Failure doesn’t mean you are not intelligent.
Failure doesn’t mean you are fated.
Failure doesn’t mean God has forsaken you.
Failure doesn’t mean you will fail all the time.
Failure doesn’t mean there is no hope for you.
Failure doesn’t mean you are a failure.
Failure doesn’t mean it is genetic.
Failure doesn’t mean the whole world is against you.
Failure doesn’t mean it is final.
Failure doesn’t mean you have to quit.

THE THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD DO WHEN YOU FAIL

Admit that you have made a mistake.
Accept the fact that you lacked sufficient information and help.
Take charge of your failure.
Analyse your mistake and find the right solution.
Renounce the “spirit of failure” to Christ in prayer.
Seek God and His helps.
Consult successful people for helps.
Refocus on your goal.
Make success your chief aim.
Concentrate on success by studying the life and works of successful people.
Believe that you can be successful.

THE THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN YOU FAIL

Never take it too personal. Don’t get emotional.
Never condemn yourself.
Never give up hope.
Never build a monument of failure.
Never conclude that you are a failure.
Never nest yourself with people who love to stay in failure.
Never surrender to the “spirit of failure”.
Never program for failure by thinking or worrying about it.

Humility

2009-06-15T10:03:00.006+08:00

A humble person always remains a low profile, just like a big tree which only reveals a branch and people think that the only branch revealed is a small tree.

Gifted Hands

2009-06-14T17:16:00.001+08:00

I have many teachers who teach me knowledge and wisdom in life. I meet most of them from books. Through the sharing of their experiences, I learn new things each time.

Lately, I met a new teacher in life. He is Dr Benjamin Carson, a world renowned neurosurgeon, working as a professor and director of peadiatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions. Despite all busyness, he managed to come out with four books. One of his books is ‘Gifted Hands’ which narrated his life story, from life of an inner-city kid to a life of becoming a renowned neurosurgeon.

He has led an extraordinary life. The sharing of his life stories has inspired me. He comes from a single-parent family and was once living in poverty. However, he has never given in to the difficulties. He was considered the lousiest student in fifth grade, but through all the hardworks and the encouragement of his mother, he managed to succeed in his academics and became the top student in his school. With the guidance from God, He made it through medical school and later devoted his life into neurosurgery.

He is a faithful man of God. Through his hands, God has worked many miracles on his patients. Many surgeries such as hemispherectomy, surgery to separate Siamese twins were once thought impossible, but through the guidance of God and him putting efforts in exploring, they were eventually made possible. Dr Ben Carson's discoveries have great contributions in neurosurgery. Through the advance in neurosurgery, the quality of life of many patients has been improved and thousands of lives have been saved. In his book, he also shared about how through prayers, many miracles have worked in his patients' lives. From him, I learn the importance of prayers. For with God, nothing is impossible. God can guide us to success in everything that we do as long as we surrender to Him and live our life according to His will.

In his book, Dr. Ben Carson has shared about the wisdom of his life. It is 'THINK BIG'. Below is extracted from his book 'Gifted Hands'.

T = TALENT

Learn to recognise and accept your God-given talents (and we all have them). Develop those talents and use them in the career you choose. Remembering T for talent puts you far ahead of the game if you take advantage of what God gives you.

T also = TIME

Learn the importance of time. When you are always on time, people can depend on you. You prove your trustworthiness. Learn not to waste time, because time is money and time is effort. Time usage is also a talent. God gives some people the ability to manage time. The rest of us have to learn how. And we can!

H = HOPE

Don’t go around with a long face, expecting something bad to happen. Anticipate good things; watch for them.

H also = HONESTY

When you do anything dishonest, you must do something else dishonest to cover up, and your life becomes hopelessly complex. The same with telling lies. If you’re honest, you don’t have to remember what you said the last time. Speaking the truth each time makes life amazingly simple.

I = INSIGHT

Listen and learn from people who have already been where you want to go. Benefit from their mistakes instead of repeating them. Read good books like the Bible because they open up new worlds of understanding.

N = NICE

Be nice to people – all people. If you’re nice to people, they’ll be nice to you. It takes much less energy to be nice than it does to be mean. Being kind, friendly, and helpful takes less energy and relieves much of the pressure.

K = KNOWLEDGE

Knowledge is the key to independent living, the key to all your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. If you are knowledgeable, particularly more knowledgeable than anybody else in a field, you become invaluable and write your own ticket.

B = BOOKS

I emphasize that active learning from reading is better than passive learning such as listening to lectures or watching television. When you read, your mind must work by taking in letters and connecting them to form words. Words make themselves into thoughts and concepts. Developing good reading habits is something like being a champion weightlifter. The champion didn’t go into the gym one day and start lifting 500 pounds. He toned his muscles, beginning with lighter weight, always building up, preparing for more. It’s the same thing with intellectual feats. We develop our minds by reading, by thinking, by figuring out things for ourselves.

I = IN-DEPTH LEARNING

Superficial learners cram for exams but know nothing two weeks later. In-depth learners find that the acquired knowledge becomes a part of them. They understand more about themselves and their world. They keep building on prior understanding by piling on new information.

G = GOD

Never get too big for God. Never drop God out of your life.

Journey with Me

2009-06-13T10:25:00.001+08:00

The moon is the only light in the darkness,
May it pour out its light on you,
So that your path of life be brightened up.

Source from 'In the Still of the Night'

Wherever we go, the Lord is with us.

He is always there for us, willing to guide us even in our darkness.

When we see no light, He is our only light.

Look up to Him and cry to Him in tough times.

He will give us strength and courage to journey.

He will guide us out from the difficult situations.

The Lord is a God of faitfullness.

He will never abandon us,

But in every moment of life, He is ready to bless us.

Because He loves us,

He will always journey with us.

My Little Bony

2009-06-11T09:50:00.000+08:00

This story happened during my first year in medicine...

As I was struggling with the learning in anotomy, I saw the benefit of having a skeleton.

One day, while I was complaining to my mother about my struggle in learning anatomy, I simply told her how I wish I could have a skeleton to aid my learning... And guess what? My family members all involved in searching for a skeleton for me!

They searched around in Melaka but could not get a suitable one for me. The only skeleton that they could find was a real one with six feet tall which was taller than me. Having a real and big skeleton hanging in my crowded room was quite a scary idea, so, I did not purchase that skeleton and I told my family not bother to search one for me then.

However, my mother did not give up in trying to give me the best. One day, on the phone, she shared with my youngest aunty who lives in Singapore about my wish of having a skeleton for learning purpose. She managed to find one for me eventually.

Not long after the purchase of the skeleton, my relatives from Singapore were invited to a wedding dinner in Melaka. They decided to go to Melaka by bus. All my aunties decided to join the trip except my youngest aunty who bought for me the skeleton. She then requested my eldest aunty to bring me the skeleton in the trip to Melaka and the aunty did.

Something serious happened then... As soon as my aunties arrived at the custom, they had all their luggages scanned. Suddenly, a female custom officer screamed hysterically and all of the sudden, everyone in the custom was shocked!

My aunties were called to the office and the 'suspicious box' that my eldest aunty carried was also sent to office. My youngest aunty was contacted and together with her husband, they quickly drove to the custom.

No one opened the 'suspicious box' until my youngest aunty and her husband reached the office. After all the explanation to the officers, my uncle opened the box and proved to the officers that the content in the box was but a set of artificial bones for learning purposes. The female officer was extremely scared initially as she thought it was related to murder case. Apology was made and finally, the issue was solved.

By the time when everyone was released from the office, all the passangers of the bus had been made waiting for two hours!

The little bony has brought so much trouble to everyone! However, that incidence did not affect the mood of my relatives. Everyone was enjoying that trip to Melaka, including my youngest aunty and her husband who initially decided not to join the trip.

From this incidence, I learnt that everyone in my family cared for me so much and I was greatly touched. I thank God that the little bony that I received has helped me a lot in my learning for the past five years.The story about this funny skeleton will never be forgotten and every time when I think of it again, I will still laugh.

Wierd Dream with Meaningful Inspiration

2009-06-09T09:45:00.000+08:00

I had a wierd dream yesterday night... but there was a good inspiration which I learnt from the dream, so I decided to pen it down.

I dreamt of myself about moving into a very old and crowded dorm where every corner was filled up with double deckers. After I've settled down and finished arranging my stuffs, my new friends told me about the legends of our new hostel...

I was informed that there were ghosts in this old hostel. I felt so frightened on hearing this. Then, my mom who accompanied me in moving into the hostel came back from the washroom. Knowing that we were discussing about the issue, she calmly shared with me her experience of 'meeting ghost' in the washroom!

To know that I had to live with ghosts everyday, I felt extremely scared. As my friends were discussing about ghosts, I started to imagine the appearance of ghost with my own imagination, for instance seeing only parts of human body floating, seeing ghosts appearing in blue or green colour. This terrible imagination made me more scared...

Thank God, I did not meet any scary ghosts in this dream. In the dream, many people were trying to correct my wrong perceptions about 'ghosts'. I was told that those ghosts were human souls who could not reach the place where they belonged to and that they were not harmful to anyone. There were people teaching me how to pray and ask me to respect those souls and even have pity on them.

I even had a chance to communicate with a departed soul in my dream... A young soul told me that she was feeling very helpless with her state and she did not mean to harm anyone. From my conversation with her, I could sense that she was kind in person. Listening to her sharing, I felt sympathised with her.

Being a medical student for the past five years, I was blessed with many chances to communicate with people from all walks of life with different backgrounds, for instances elderly patients, pregnant women, dying patients, psychiatric patients, drug addicts and patients with AIDS. Talking to these people helped me to be more understanding and to have more empathy. However, I had never understood the feelings of a departed soul who had no where to go. I thank God for blessing me this dream to give me understanding and erradicate my fear of ghosts.

God's Creations are Wonderful

2009-06-08T10:16:00.000+08:00

Thank God for eyes can see.

Everything under the sunlight

Is so beautiful as

He has coloured His creations

With hands of love.

In His eyes,

Every living is perfect.

In His love,

No one is despised.

You are always wonderful

Because He has created you

Specially with great love.

Inspiring Sunday Morning

2009-06-08T10:05:00.000+08:00

An auspicious Sunday

Blessed with a lovely dawn

Has filled my heart with new hope and strength

For the radiant sunlight

Has chased away the darkness of my soul,

Uplifting my spirit to live in joy.

A gentle breeze is blowing

When I enjoy the tranquil moments with Abba Father.

This gentle wind is so soothing and consoling

That it calms my soul and gives me peace.

What a big consolation it is to be a Father’s child

For His love is always perfect, unconditional and sweet.

Clinging to Him closely this beautiful morning,

I heed His message of love and immerse myself in His teaching.

I ask for His blessings be upon me throughout the day and

His guidance revealed to me in all the tasks given to me.

With His will and wisdom, I’ll deal with this challenging life.

With His love and compassion, I’ll spread the fragrance of His words.

Thanksgiving Letter

2009-06-08T09:34:00.000+08:00

I sought the Lord, and He answered me;
From all my fears He delivered me.
I will bless the Lord all my days;
His praise will be ever on my lips.

Psalm 34: 2, 5

With a joyful heart, I give thanks to my God. I have never imagined that life can be so wonderful when I surrender to Him.

Growing up from a childhood which was full of experiences of failures and helplessness, I never ever dared to have a dream as I thought that I had no future. Needless to mention, I never dreamt to be a doctor. Though eventually I have done excellent works in science subjects in my secondary school, to take up medicine was never in my consideration. Firstly, I thought that I was not capable. Secondly, I was not so noble to sacrifice my time and energy for medicine and I did not think that I would be strong enough to deal with all the challenges in medical field. Yet God has chosen what the world considers foolish, to shame the wise; He has chosen what the world considers weak to shame the strong. (1Corinthians 1:27)

I did not know all the plans of God for me in this life, but He has slowly made known to me His ways. In revelation of His calling to me, I was first surprised by a straight A’s result in SPM, then, being the first batch of 10% non-natives who was accepted to study in matriculation and finally a smooth entrance to medicine in University Putra Malaysia (UPM).

Looking back, I’m still surprised by the marvellous work of God. His plan is very meticulous. While He laid down the path for me to journey towards medicine, He did not forget to draw me closer to Him. While I was studying in matriculation, Melaka, He blessed me with a spiritual partner who often shared with me Catholic faith and we always prayed together. Among two thousand students in that campus, only two of us are Catholic. I cannot deny that God did take good care of my spiritual needs at that moment though I did not really know Him personally.

God said, ‘Call me and I shall answer. I will reveal to you great and mysterious things you have not known.’ (Jeremiah33:3) When my friend and I finally came to a juncture that we had to decide which course to take up, we prayed together for discernment and eventually, both of us discovered the calling to take up medicine and we were accepted to local universities. Despite studying in different university and seldom met up, we are able to journey together in faith. I feel blessed to have a spiritual sister journeying with me in medicine.

The Lord that I have known is a God of surprise. He gave me another surprise when I first came to UPM. It was a big surprise for me to find out that there is a catholic chapel inside the campus and every Saturday evening, priest would drop by to say a mass. Amazingly, I was arranged to live with a catholic room-mate! We always went to that little chapel together when staying in the campus in our first and second year of medicine. There, I began to fall in love with mass. After having a stressful week and feeling so discouraged, attending mass helped to uplift my spirit. I learnt the meaning of attending mass in that little chapel.

While I continued my studies in medicine, God slowly put pieces of my memory together to enable me to see a big picture that being a doctor is His divine plan for me. For with Him is the fountain of life, in His light we see light. (Psalm36:10) He brought me back to my earlier memory as a child and it was only under His enlightenment that I came to realise that He had been using different ways to inspire me in the past and He had even sown in me a seed of love for medical knowledge when He created me. Because of the strong reassurance from Him, I did not give up when I went through a futile period in my studies and met many failures.

To inspire me, God first introduced me a very compassionate family doctor when I was six years old. I remember vividly what happened in my first visit to his clinic. While I was sitting outside the consultation room feeling anxious, a man with neat and formal attire came to approach me. He talked to me and offered sweets to me. Though I did have fear with stranger, his act of kindness made me feel comfortable. I only found out that the stranger who approached me was my family doctor when I was called to the consultation room. Because of his kindness, I was not afraid of doctor ever since I was a child for there is no fear in love. (1John4:18)

At the age of nine years old, I was first introduced to Chinese composition. My teacher asked us to write ‘My Ambition’. I did not have ambition, so, I decided to steal ideas from other’s composition and write the ideas with my own words. I happened to read a composition regarding ambition and the author mentioned that his ambition was to be a doctor and he got the inspiration when he saw his grandmother suffering from a terminal illness. As I stole the author’s ideas, my grandmother was also suffering from terminal illness. This made me feel like I was sharing the truth though I stole ideas from others. That particular composition was the only composition which won good comments throughout my primary school. God had used that composition to recommend me His plan.

He even implied me by using question. One day, I visited my grandmother who was ill in General Hospital Melaka. When I was in the ward, a question suddenly came from my heart. It was a question asking me, ‘Do you like this working environment?’ Without hesitation, I said I did not like. I now know that that question did not come from me but it was God who gently asked me this question during my first visit to hospital.

Before joining medical course, I never realised that God has endowed me with an interest for medical knowledge. I remember when I was seven years old, whenever my teacher shared about diseases and vaccination, I would listen very attentively and keep in mind what I had heard. However, I did not do the same to the other topics. During my secondary school, I would spend more time reading about infectious diseases rather than reading my own textbooks. Though I have had interest for medical knowledge since young, I was not aware of this until I took up medicine. In the five years medical training, I found my interest has been increasing and I have indeed been enjoying my learning. I thank God for He guides me on the way He chose and His Glory brings me along. (Psalm 73:24)

Glory to God who shows His power in us and can do much more than we could ask or imagine. (Ephesians 3:20) When I first knew that I got the offer to study medicine, I never expected that I would be able to go through all the challenges in medical school. Thank God for all His grace. With His divine helps, I managed to pass through all the major and minor exams which I thought I would not make it.

In my five years life as a medical student, while I was doing my part as a student by learning new knowledge and improving my skills each day, the Lord also played His part in moulding me to be a doctor of His own design. He led me to a journey of inner healing where He has promised, ‘I will restore you to health and heal your wounds.’ (Jeremiah 30:17) My journey of inner healing actually started in the beginning of my third year study of medicine after Baptism in the Holy Spirit. In the initial stage of the inner healing, I really had a very tough time. I was dealing with many negative emotions and I found out that I got many unresolved hurts with me. In those moments of life, I could not even concentrate in my studies and that was the time when I started doing my practical work in hospital. I felt that I was at the lowest pit as I saw no light in life and no hope in my studies. I went into depression and I remember crying almost everyday in the church. The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves the distraught. (Psalm 34:19) In His mercy, He has heard my cry. He rescued my soul from going down into the pit, and gave me life to enjoy the light. (Job 33:28) In the journey of inner healing, He sent me many angels to guide and led me to search for useful books regarding inner healing and even made me attend a few inner-healing retreats. He has been healing me with a psycho-spiritual approach without the involvement of medication. It took me two years to regain full concentration on studies. My third year and forth year in medicine was considered a futile period but with the miracles of God, I managed to go through all the postings with borderline pass.

I only felt that I was learning efficiently in my final year of studies, however, by then I noticed that I was very left behind in my knowledge. I could not help feeling frustrated with myself and with God. I could no longer cope with my being so lousy and so awkward in my studies, so I voiced out to God my helplessness and frustration. To my consolation, He sent me angels to help me in my studies. I am greatly touched by the speedy helps that I was offered. Since that incidence onwards, my faith deepens for I have come to understand that it is easy for the Lord in an instant to make the poor man rich. (Sirach 11:21)

God said, ‘Be patient then, beloved, until the coming of the Lord. See how the sower waits for the precious fruits of the earth, looking forward patiently to the autumn and spring rains. You also be patient and do not lose heart, because the Lord’s coming is near.’ (James 5:7) It is true the saying of the Lord that we should be patient even in trials, for our God is a faithful God and He keeps His promise. At the end of my final year in medicine, I finally saw the fruits that were promised by God. He has healed almost all of my hurts and pains and restored me to full spiritual health so that I can function normally as a doctor in the future. I do realise that I am more peaceful and joyful than I was in the past and my thought has become more organised. My hurts have been healed, thus, my burdens become lesser. My experiences of darkness and God’s healing love have now become the blessings for others for He encourages us in all our trials, so that we may also encourage those in any trial, with the same comfort that we receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:4)

In my spiritual life, the Lord has given me different inspirations at different situations. Sometimes, He inspires me to write poem, at times, He inspires me to draw. I have never learnt drawing or studied any literature before, but He gives me these gifts to capture His inspirations. I thank God for these wonderful gifts as they help me to maintain a balance between science and art. They have not only become a recreational work for me, but the fruits of the inspiration have also become my reference in times of trouble.

I also thank God for training me to be at peace with death and revealing to me the meaning of life. I am blessed with many chances to communicate with the dying patients or those who are terminally ill. My family doctor, being a survivor of leukaemia and lymphoma himself, has shared many of his experiences with me and I come to realise that when the living days are numbered, the worldly possession will no longer be of one’s concern but love has become the priority. God is trying to tell me that in judgement day, He does not care who we are in the world and will not look at any of our worldly possessions but only look at how much love we have for others and for Him. This gives me a new outlook about life, which is to put God as first priority in life and to follow His commands. With this, I will always remind myself that medical knowledge that I possess is from God and it is given to me to serve Him by caring for the sick but not for my own glory or benefit. For we are no more than servants; we have only done our duty. (Luke 17:10) What we are is God’s work. He has created us in Christ Jesus for the good works He has prepared that we should devote ourselves to them. (Ephesians 2:10)

With gratitude, I offer up my future career to God. I know that I am going to face tougher challenges in life, but I have peace because I have a great God who always bless me with good things and help me in my distress.

To do your will is my delight, O God,

For your law is within my heart. (Psalm 40:9)

P/s: I offer up this thanksgiving letter and the Pentecost Sunday mass as a thanksgiving to God for His marvellous deeds in my life. To all my angels, I have offered a thanksgiving mass for you as my gratitude for your kindness. May God bless you with peace and joy

Peaceful Dusk

2009-06-05T14:34:00.000+08:00

The path from where I got my inspiration

Let the peaceful dusk calm you down after a hectic day.
The sun will no longer shine so bright,
The air will no longer be so dry.
Tiredness is all over you,
But never lose the will of going back home.
Let the wind blow away your sorrows,
Wipe away your tears,
And cure your wounded heart.
Be gentle to your tired soul.
It needs a comfortable shelter to rest,
So bring it there.When you rest,
Take time to appreciate the scenery.
The flowers are smiling to you.
The trees are waving at you,
While the birds are singing you a new song.
They are always there for you even when you are lonely.
Be grateful for what you see and what you feel.
May tiredness leave you soon,
So that you can continue your journey back home.
Peace be with you.

May the peaceful dusk bring about consolation to your tired soul and leave you peace.

In the Still of the Night

2009-05-29T11:23:00.000+08:00

Peace be with you in the still of the night.
The earth is conquered by tranquility
While the air is veiled with mist.
Pandemonium in the busy day no longer exists
But harmony of night has taken place.
The moon is the only light in the darkness.
May it pour out its light on you
So that your path of life be brightened up.
Stars are scattered everywhere,
So abundant that it's hard to see
Which cluster forms the horoscope.
It's with wisdom that you'll see its beauty.
It's with wisdom that you know
The orchestra under the moonlight is the best of all.

Have you ever spent time to enjoy the stillness of the night in a natural surrounding? Try using 5 senses to enjoy the night, you'll see the wonder of night.

In the dark night, we will come to know the role of the moon. Without moonlight, we'll see nothing but darkness.

Just as how important it is to have the moon in the night, so as having God in this life that is filled with uncertainly.

No one knows for sure what is going to happen in the future and sometimes, it's even difficult to figure out what's actually happening in the present situation.

Without the light of God, we will never be able to appreciate the beauty behind each tribulation.

Just as how difficult it is to appreciate the horoscope without looking at the sky as a whole, so as how difficult it is to appreciate the divine plan of God in a life without reflection.

Reflection helps us to see the whole picture of life happenings. As we invite the light of God be upon us in our reflection, we will see how beautiful and meaningful it is of God-given life.

It's only then we will know that God's will is still the best.

The Happy Dry Leaves

2009-05-29T11:15:00.000+08:00

The sky is gloomy with dark clouds all over.
Under the dim light, everything looked dull.
Yet, indifferent with the gloom,
The dry leaves are dancing happily in the wind.
Though they are the least attractive, the unwanted,
They are not ashamed.
They are dancing happily,
Forming a nice scene to view.

Yes, the 'dancing' leaves have really inspired me. They have not only given me consolation but motivation at the same time whenever I'm tempted to feel shameful with my failures.

Morning Rain

2009-05-27T12:24:00.000+08:00

The rattling sound of the rain
Has broken the serenity of the morning,
Awakening the sleepy souls from their dreams.
The rhythm of the rain begins the pace of the day.
A peaceful melody can be formed
When the sound of footsteps is in harmony with it.
The fruits of the peaceful melody
Are healing and relief.
When the sun shines again,
The land appeared fresh,
Fresher than that of yesterday.
Under the sunlight,
The gleaming pearls that left on leaves
Are the best treasures of all.

'Morning Rain' was written based on my experience of a refreshing rainy morning in Triang (my hometown). This poem always gives me the courage to deal with challenges in life. Each time when I chose not to escape from a problem but dealing with it courageously, I gained a wisdom. Facing a problem may bring about negative emotions in the initial stage, but when I learned not to cling to the emotions but to shift my attention in finding solutions, my peace increases everyday. Eventually, problems are solved, burdens become lesser, peace and joy increases and we become wiser. Life becomes wonderful, even more wonderful than before! In our trials, we learn both wisdom and humility and these become our precious treauses to help more people.